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[First things first! It's still a moment before Shrike slides his phone away.]

I think he'll have problems accepting help, because he thinks this is some kind of... deserved punishment, for something he did in the past involving you.

[A limp smile.]

I'll leave it there to avoid interrupting our conversation for the moment. But unfortunately, because of that belief, it might be that yours are the only hands he'll accept reaching out to him, in a way that makes any meaningful change.

...Ultimately, the emotions he's feeling now won't just disappear. It might be some time before he's able to work through them. Even if he is willing to accept help, this probably will happen again as those feelings work their way to the surface.

[Just so that Sparrow knows what he's getting into, as much as that's possible for him. But it's undoubtably true - as much as Ren has focused in on him, Sparrow is probably the only one here who can pull him out of it.]

... More concretely, it's probably about time to try getting some fluids into him, if he hasn't cried himself to sleep.

[He winces.] You're right. We can't—afford to indulge my issues at this time. But he did say more than once that he'd done something. That everyone in our world was once like him, and someone wanted to change it. That he and I and the others opposed it.

[Which is a remarkable thing for him to have retained, isn't it? If Shrike looks, he'll see nothing new—other than that many of those gold traceries in his mind, covering things up, are far thicker and brighter than they were months ago. Many of the traceries have the feel of being hours old. Turning to the cupboard, he almost fetches a glass—then thinks better of it, and gets a mug, in case Ren's teeth should chatter.]

Of course, I remember none of that. I want to say Ren can have done nothing that merits such guilt, but if he had, I wouldn't know. It does seem, though, that he's burdened by things that can't have been his responsibility alone.

[Oh, Sparrow, if you only knew. He picks up one of those rehydration bottles from the counter, too.]

[ Ren is curled up on the floor, slumped against the side of the comfy armchair that the cognition inhabited before Akechi kicked her out, his arms around his waist like he's trying to hold in his guts. He's trying to catch his breath, except he keeps breaking out into dry, silent sobs, which is making it really difficult, actually. His face feels disgusting, sticky with tears and snot. His eyes hurt, his head hurts, his throat hurts. He feels like someone scooped out his insides with a melon baller. But it's not... a bad feeling. Or, like. It is bad. But it's better than what came before.

Someone else is here. Another Akechi, he thinks, from hearing the voices, but his eyes are closed, and actually tuning in and listening to them seems like an impossible task. So he doesn't. ]

[It is incredible, for that much to have stuck - enough that it takes Shrike by surprise, visibly.

Perhaps it wouldn't have worked, if it was anyone else who told him. Or perhaps the power of time is starting to unwind those threads all on its own.

For now, he pulls a clean hand towel out of a drawer and hands that to Sparrow to take over along with the sports drink.]

I have a few guesses as to what it could be, but no solid information as of yet. Just a hunch.

[Ren 'knows' that Goro Akechi died in the depths of Shido's ship. That's the most logical conclusion, from the way he reacted to hearing that Sparrow was a living person. From there, he could extrapolate in any number of directions, but none of them are things he could voice to the person in front of him without triggering a shutdown.

Instead he just says,]

We've got time. He has time. So we'll worry about the immediate for now.

[It's pretty clear the two of them need to catch up at a better time; now that Sparrow has noticed a few of his episodes, the reason for Shrike's surprise is clear. But as he said, first things first. He takes the towel with a nod, and heads through to Ren's side.

Or rather—he walks through to the living room, then stops. It's an appalling sight. All his conscious ideas of what sadness should look like are drawn in crayon. He has to force himself not to gasp aloud.]

[ He's not quite out of it enough not to notice that someone walked in and stopped. His eyelashes are sticky with tears and he's so fucking tired, but with effort, he opens his eyes.

His Akechi stares down at him, appalled, like he's never seen anything worse than Ren crying. And he hasn't, Ren supposes. The Akechi who walked through the underbelly of Tokyo's unconscious mind is dead. Adjustment, rank two.

His face crumples. He opens his mouth, but all that emerges is a quiet, hiccuping sob. ]

[Yeah, okay, they're going to need help over there, aren't they.

Unseen by the two in the living room, Shrike goes through the motions of a dramatic sigh in silence, before stepping out into the living area. He comes by and gives Sparrow's shoulder a brief squeeze - the inch or two of difference in their heights without shoes will probably make it clear to Ren which Akechi this is even if his vision is still blurry - before half-kneeling beside Ren.]

I won't ask if you're feeling better, but you should at least drink something before you keel over from dehydration. You cried out all the salt and water you can spare.

[Despite the warm tone, there is something distinctly no-nonsense about it. Drink your damn Crocodaid, Ren.]

[It's clear enough what's needed here, yes. Ren can't even look at him. He sets the cloth down by Shrike, with the bottle and mug, before murmuring.]

I'll bring a facecloth.

[Ren does need to wash his face; he is sticky. But he also needs Sparrow out of the way, if he's to recover.]

[ He doesn't stir until Akechi is gone, at which point his face falls even further, a feat Shrike might have believed to be impossible. ] Oh...

[ God, his voice is wrecked. He blinks at Shrike, trying to clear his vision. Trying to think, and not doing very well at that one. This is so humiliating. ] Okay.

[ He sounds like a frog. With shaking hands, he picks up the bottle and opens it. He doesn't intend to drink much, but once he's started, some instinct takes over, and before he knows what's happened he's downed half the bottle. When he finally puts it down, gasping for breath, he feels... a little better. He didn't notice he was thirsty, before. ]

Um. Sorry for the. [ The inconvenience, he means, except he doesn't have the energy or the voice to finish the sentence. Did Akechi call Shrike? ...That's a stupid question. He must have, right? ]

Don't you dare say 'trouble.' Do you need help sitting up?

[The hand he extends to Ren is in a black glove, with a red inner lining, palm and fingers. Outside the Metaverse, it's the kind of thing that must have been special ordered.]

I brought drinks, pain medication, and ramen. You don't have to talk about it if you aren't ready to.

[If he wants to talk, he can. Shrike is pretty sure he will, eventually, so he's not going to push it right now.]

[And Sparrow's back with the washcloth. He stops in the door, to be sure his renewed presence won't distress Ren further.]

[ It's not that Akechi's presence isn't distressing. It's more that if Akechi leaves, that's somehow even worse. Especially if Ren chases him off, if Ren makes him feel like everyone else in this fucking place does apparently— So the look he gives Akechi is complicated, and exhausted, but it contains a thread of hope that Akechi will come back.

Then he takes Shrike's hand and uses it to pull himself upright, so he's not leaning against the armchair anymore. ] Thanks.

[ He noticed the gloves before, but he was scared to ask then and he doesn't have the energy now. Fuck, he's thirsty. He picks up the bottle of Crocodaid and downs the rest of it. ]

[But it's such a relief. As long as Ren doesn't collapse at the sight of Akechi, and is calmer, and even talking, maybe they can get somewhere—ideally to Ren being asleep in bed.

With a faint hope in his own eyes, he fetches another couple of bottles from the kitchen before he returns, to give the warm, damp washcloth to Ren.]

Here you are.

[But it's better if he's not right in Ren's line of sight, surely. Setting the drinks down, he steps aside, so he's there, but not too close. Not in the way.]

Grab the pain meds too, would you?

[Letting Sparrow be productive and feel like he's helping even when he clearly doesn't know what to do here - win-win situation. He turns more towards Ren and adds, ]

Because if you don't have a headache now, you will within a half an hour, and better to get going on relieving it now.

[It sounds like the voice of experience.]

[ He does have a headache now, which just makes him wonder what it'll be like in half an hour. Not to mention the sore throat from all the screaming. ...He kind of wants to do that again, though. The screaming, anyway. Not all the crying afterwards. But maybe he can go somewhere else in a few days, when his throat is less fucked, and just scream.

Right now, he just takes the cloth and tries to clean his face. His skin feels puffy and sensitive; the slight friction of the cloth is almost painful. But he feels less disgusting afterwards. ]

I was gonna say inconvenience. Earlier. [ And that's all he can get out, but at least he did it. He pulls one of the new bottles close. ]

[Coming back from the kitchen, he sets down a bottle of painkillers before stepping back from the picture again. He'll keep an eye on what Ren takes—not that it will do much good when he has to leave again. Still, he is just next door.

He keeps watching and listening. As if Ren could ever be an inconvenience. But can it really be just decompression from being alone? Surely Ren is often alone at home? Why didn't he scream there?

Did he scream there? What if he did, and Akechi and the others had no idea?]

[Unfortunately, someone didn't tell him about the screaming, or he would have brought something for that, too. Honey can only help in your condition, Ren.]

That counts.

[Shrike straightens up, taking a chance to give Sparrow a look-over. His more innocent self still looks at a loss, as much a confused animal as anything.]

The only real inconvenience was trying to carry so much ramen broth without spilling any, and I won't accept apologies for that.

[ Ren scans the directions on the bottle—two pills every six hours—and taps four pills out into his hand, swallowing them with a mouthful of Crocodaid. Why did Shrike bring an excess of ramen...? Is Ren even hungry? He can't tell. The idea of eating doesn't seem as ridiculous as it did half an hour ago, anyway, which is... good? Probably.

He looks up at Akechi—his own Akechi, even if he's someone else now—god, no, Ren can't think about that anymore or he'll lose his mind for real. ] Thanks. For the. [ He indicates everything Akechi's brought over to him, the growing pile of post-breakdown accoutrements. ] You don't have to hide.

[He blinks, startled out of his train of thought—mainly at this point about what Shrike is thinking, and what he sees when he looks at the two of them. The way he seems to wake from a dream might be painfully familiar.] Oh.

[But okay, he'll come a little closer, and semi-crouch in turn. You're feeling better seems factually inaccurate, so he doesn't say it.]

I'm not hiding. I just thought you might be a little more comfortable. Is there anything else you need? [Bereft of any constructive contribution, and emotionally unaware at the best of times, fetching and carrying for Ren is something he's happy to do. People like gifts, after all.]

[ But Ren reaches out, leaning forward to grab Akechi's wrist. ] Stop leaving.

[ Then his eyes widen, and he lets go like Akechi's skin burns him. ] Sorry. I'm sorry. You can— [ You can leave if you want, he intends to say, but his voice gives out again. ]

Edited 2024-02-10 01:20 (UTC)

[But Akechi's eyes widen wonderingly, as the hand closes around his wrist. He looks down just in time for the wonder to dim as Ren recoils and starts to disintegrate.]

Hey. [He doesn't try to touch; better not to repeat any errors today.] Of course I'll stay. If you don't want me to leave right now, why would I?

[Something about that reaction tells him I'll stay if you want me to would be poor wording. He thought Ren wanted him to leave. But it isn't like that at all, is it?]

[ Ren just shakes his head, curling in on himself. He can't explain to Akechi why Akechi should hate him because Akechi will just turn into a blank-eyed doll, and even if he could, he doesn't know if he would have the strength to say the words. ]

[Well, they're definitely having a moment, aren't they. Shrike takes the chance to grab Ren's empty bottle and set it to the side.]

...If the past and the future are both too much, it's okay to just live in the moment right now. Coming here is a big adjustment at the best of times.

[Which Ren was very much not having, no matter how much the rest of of the world might have seen them as such.]

Edited (shhh i didn't forget icon) 2024-02-10 01:34 (UTC)

[He looks around just long enough for the inarticulate little voice singing he wants me, he needs me to quiet. The two of them aren't the only ones who've been brought somewhere strange, after all. In fact, is it just him who remembers only one such event?]

And you'd know about that, right? Having been taken somewhere else before, as you were.

[As he said in the kitchen. He tries to meet Shrike's eye, too—because if there's one thing he'd swear he knows about Ren, it's that he's always been a listener.]

[ He lifts his head a little and watches Shrike. A bit of clarity returns to his eyes. This is the first he's heard about Shrike going somewhere else before this, and, as Akechi is counting on, Ren is always ready to listen to people, even now. Perhaps especially now. ]

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