[ic] shadow pheasant's mementos inbox

[pheasantboy]

Feel free to tag here, if you want to run into Shadow Pheasant in Mementos.

He doesn't have a phone, and must make his own fun. Be warned that he's level 99 and will attempt to eat all Akirens (and probably many others) on sight.

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[pheasantboy]

And his eyes go wide, wide, wide with wanting, as he props himself up on one arm. It would be so easy to accept her pity, to take what she offers. But then what of that fucking thing that claims to be him? And who knows better than he does what it means to kill a Shadow?

Plus, he didn't defy Maruki just to bow and scrape to another powerful entity, did he? His face screws up in determined distaste. "You'd have a price. I'm a Shadow, not an idiot! Besides, what happens to my ego"—the part of him that walks above, the conscious mind—"if you kill me? That's no solution."

[butterflyaffect]

"No," she replied. "It isn't. But if it would free you- I would offer it willingly. No price. I would only ask... that you allow me to explore other options, first. That would violate my oaths... but I made the decision already that they don't matter to me as much as you do."

[pheasantboy]

"Don't say that shit!" It's almost the worst thing to endure, all these intimations that she cares. Nobody cares about him; that much he understands. Ren proved—

Disbelieving, he waits for the explosion. It doesn't come; he mutters almost to himself, testing the memory of Ren like it's a bad tooth. "Huh. That's strange."

[butterflyaffect]

She tilted her head, curious. "What's strange, if I may ask?"

[pheasantboy]

The Shadow draws itself up into a ball, peering at her, wide-eyed and mistrustful.

"Him. That piece of shit. Ren Amamiya." He spits the name like a curse. "I can't usually think about him. What did you do?"

[butterflyaffect]

Her brow furrowed again, honest confusion crossing her face. "Nothing. Why wouldn't you be able to think about..."

Her eyes widened. There it was, plain as day, really. The description of the one that was 'pleasant and sweet', which had been so at odds with everything she knew. The cognitive control room around them. The pain, the rage, the complete unwillingness to trust- it settled in her gut like ice, sick and wrong and she couldn't... keep the visceral horror from her face.

It wasn't possible. It didn't compute. That boy had saved her father. Lavenza thought the world of him, surely- surely there was no conceivable universe in which he'd-

"What did he do to you..."

[pheasantboy]

Oh, it's so funny, the horror on her face as she begins to understand. It will delight him to tell her the truth, to submit himself again to what he knows now to have been one of the greatest of his delusions.

Though he laughs at first, his outrage builds as he speaks. "What, did you know him? Did you think he was a good boy? A sweet little Trickster?" Unable to contain himself, he comes close to losing his form. "He's weak! Pathetic! He never had what it takes, and he left me to pay the price!"

[butterflyaffect]

"No, I... never met him. I only knew of him secondhand, but..." Goro's Magician. How could such a relationship have gone so disastrously wrong? "Whatever. The case was for us, the Trickster was wrong to do that to you. And I am so. sorry. That you have suffered under that man's control like this. I will-"

She inhaled. Calmed herself. "I can't take that back. I can't undo what's been done, nor would I ever want to take that away from you. But I could never let this- let you- continue in this state. If there's a way to your freedom... I will help you find it, if I can."

[pheasantboy]

The whole of him trembles at her words, black-gloved hands forming claws as if he wants to rip the floor apart.

"There's only one way out. You know that. No matter what I do, I'll never be free again." He laughs quietly. "No more than I deserve, of course."

[butterflyaffect]

"Yes, well, that's bullshit. There's going to be something we can do. I know of at least one Shadow who manifested a human form all his own. This is possible, Goro. I don't know exactly how, just yet... but there will be a way. I could also talk to my Guest about this. He's..."

She hesitated, for a moment, considering how to approach the topic. "He's come from a background very similar to yours. He would understand, I think, better than most, and want to help you as well."

[pheasantboy]

Just for a moment, he contemplates it. A Shadow who manifested a human form all his own. His eyes go wide and hungry and wanting, desperate for any sliver of hope. That boy in Tartarus, the Shadow boy—hadn't he walked and lived on the surface, like any of the rest of them? Wouldn't someone like Renée know, if anyone would?

But it's too much, He'll never trust again, nor put himself in the hands of any powerful person. He's seen; he knows. We're taking the deal...

"Liar!" He explodes out of his form into a seething, indistinct mass, not as hungry as it could be but no less dangerous for that. His voice distorts in her ear. "Take your bullshit somewhere else! I don't care for it! I'll destroy you!"

[butterflyaffect]

Disappointing... but not, ultimately, unexpected. "Wrong, Goro. I will never lie to you. But if you want me gone, I'll leave you be. For now. But I'll be back."

[pheasantboy]

Needless to say, he doesn't believe her. Yet it burns to watch her leave. The ground shakes around him, and he dissolves through the floor out of sight